After marriage, a girl went to live with her in- laws. In her in-laws’ family, along with her mother-in law, was her grand mother-in-law was being insulted a great deal. The younger mother-in-law would hurt and abuse her. Looking at this the girl felt bad about it and also felt compassionate for her. She reflected, ‘If I tell my mother-in-law not to insult her mother-in-law, she will retort that the girl who has just come into the house yesterday is imparting wisdom to me and is behaving like my Guru.’ Hence, she did not say anything to her mother-in-law. She thought of a plan.
Everyday she would finish her work and go and sit with her grand mother-in-law and massage her legs. When she started spending more time with her, her mother-in-law did not approve of this. One day her mother-in-law asked her, “Daughter-in-law! Why do you go and sit with her?”
The girl replied, “My parents had said –‘don’t ever sit with young men; also don’t sit with young women; go and sit near the elders in the family; learn from them.’ In this house grand mother-in-law is the eldest. That is why I only sit with her. in addition, my father also said, ‘In your in-laws’ house, our traditions will not work; your in-laws’ customs will work. Learn the customs from the elders in that house and maintain your relationships accordingly.’ Mother-in-law! I have to learn the traditions of this house. Grand mother-in-law is the eldest. So I ask her how my mother-in-law serves her, so that I can do the same.
Her mother-in-law asked her, “What does the old woman say?”
“Grandmother says, ‘I will consider it a service if she just doesn’t hurt or abuse me.’”
Her mother-in-law responded, “What! Will you also behave like that?”
“Mother In-law became silent and inwardly feared that she will be treated in the same manner as she treated her mother in-law.
In a corner there were some broken pieces of ceramic plates. Her mother-in-law enquired, “Daughter-in-law! Why have you collected these ceramic pieces?”
The girl replied, “You daily give grandmother food in ceramic pieces. In order to abide by this custom, I have collected them in advance. I’ve done the right thing, haven’t I?”
“Oh! This is a mistake. This is surely not a custom!”
“Then why do you give grandmother food in ceramic pieces?”
“Who will scrub and wash her plate?” “I will do it.”
“Okay. Then you can serve her food in a plate. Throw away the ceramic pieces.”
Now the old grandmother started getting food in a plate. After serving everyone food, the leftovers were given to the old grandmother. Or sometimes the burnt leftover of khichdi or dal with stones in it was served to her. The girl examined her food in her hand. Her mother-in-law asked, “Daughter-in-law! What are you looking at?”
“Mother, I am looking at the kind of food that elders are served in this house.”
“This is surely not the custom of giving food!”
“Then why do you give such food?”
“Who will first serve the food?”
“With your permission, I will do it.”
“Okay, so you first serve the food.”
Now the old woman started getting good food. As soon as the food was ready, the daughter-in-law would serve the old mother fresh khichdi, fresh rotis, dal and khichdi, fresh rotis, dal and vegetables. The grand-mother-in-law started blessing the girl in her heart of hearts.
All day, the old grandmother-in-law would sit in a broken bedstead with its rope hanging loose. The girl was looking at the bedstead. Her mother-in-law asked, “Daughter-in-law! What are you looking at?”
“I am observing the kind of bedstead that is given to elders.”
“Such a bedstead is not given here. Since it is broken, it has become like this.”
“Why don’t you get another one?”
“You can get another one.”
Now a new bedstead woven with thick wide tapes was brought for the old grandmother. Her clothes had become all tattered. One day while washing clothes the girl started staring at her grandmother-in-law’s clothes. Her mother-in-law enquired, “What are you looking at?”
“I am observing the kind of clothes that are given to elders.”
“You are repeating the same topic! Such clothes are not given here. They have become like this because they are old.”
“Should I let her continue to wear these clothes?”
Now the young daughter-in-law changed the old mother’s clothes bedding and everything. Her cleverness spread happiness even in the old mother’s life. If the girl had preached to her mother-in-law in a plain and direct way, would she have listened to her? No, words don’t have effect, behavior has its effect. Therefore, daughters-in-law should serve in their in-laws’ house with such intelligence, thereby keeping all satisfied. With this, peace and happiness will be maintained in the house. Infighting in a house destroys peace. Peace and happiness are established by following this principle. Walk together with one another, stay together and help each other in every way. In this lies the good of the home, family, society and the country. Every human being should try and follow this, and bring into their life these divine, high ideals of Indian culture, so that every individual rises above his or her current condition and works in favour of the society and country thereby helping to establish peace and happiness, let all awaken the self-bliss hidden within them. May they awaken their Truth Consciousness and Bliss absolute nature. Let us stay clear of attachment, hatred, jealousy and slander and also save others who come into contact with us from these vices.
Everyday she would finish her work and go and sit with her grand mother-in-law and massage her legs. When she started spending more time with her, her mother-in-law did not approve of this. One day her mother-in-law asked her, “Daughter-in-law! Why do you go and sit with her?”
The girl replied, “My parents had said –‘don’t ever sit with young men; also don’t sit with young women; go and sit near the elders in the family; learn from them.’ In this house grand mother-in-law is the eldest. That is why I only sit with her. in addition, my father also said, ‘In your in-laws’ house, our traditions will not work; your in-laws’ customs will work. Learn the customs from the elders in that house and maintain your relationships accordingly.’ Mother-in-law! I have to learn the traditions of this house. Grand mother-in-law is the eldest. So I ask her how my mother-in-law serves her, so that I can do the same.
Her mother-in-law asked her, “What does the old woman say?”
“Grandmother says, ‘I will consider it a service if she just doesn’t hurt or abuse me.’”
Her mother-in-law responded, “What! Will you also behave like that?”
“Mother In-law became silent and inwardly feared that she will be treated in the same manner as she treated her mother in-law.
In a corner there were some broken pieces of ceramic plates. Her mother-in-law enquired, “Daughter-in-law! Why have you collected these ceramic pieces?”
The girl replied, “You daily give grandmother food in ceramic pieces. In order to abide by this custom, I have collected them in advance. I’ve done the right thing, haven’t I?”
“Oh! This is a mistake. This is surely not a custom!”
“Then why do you give grandmother food in ceramic pieces?”
“Who will scrub and wash her plate?” “I will do it.”
“Okay. Then you can serve her food in a plate. Throw away the ceramic pieces.”
Now the old grandmother started getting food in a plate. After serving everyone food, the leftovers were given to the old grandmother. Or sometimes the burnt leftover of khichdi or dal with stones in it was served to her. The girl examined her food in her hand. Her mother-in-law asked, “Daughter-in-law! What are you looking at?”
“Mother, I am looking at the kind of food that elders are served in this house.”
“This is surely not the custom of giving food!”
“Then why do you give such food?”
“Who will first serve the food?”
“With your permission, I will do it.”
“Okay, so you first serve the food.”
Now the old woman started getting good food. As soon as the food was ready, the daughter-in-law would serve the old mother fresh khichdi, fresh rotis, dal and khichdi, fresh rotis, dal and vegetables. The grand-mother-in-law started blessing the girl in her heart of hearts.
All day, the old grandmother-in-law would sit in a broken bedstead with its rope hanging loose. The girl was looking at the bedstead. Her mother-in-law asked, “Daughter-in-law! What are you looking at?”
“I am observing the kind of bedstead that is given to elders.”
“Such a bedstead is not given here. Since it is broken, it has become like this.”
“Why don’t you get another one?”
“You can get another one.”
Now a new bedstead woven with thick wide tapes was brought for the old grandmother. Her clothes had become all tattered. One day while washing clothes the girl started staring at her grandmother-in-law’s clothes. Her mother-in-law enquired, “What are you looking at?”
“I am observing the kind of clothes that are given to elders.”
“You are repeating the same topic! Such clothes are not given here. They have become like this because they are old.”
“Should I let her continue to wear these clothes?”
Now the young daughter-in-law changed the old mother’s clothes bedding and everything. Her cleverness spread happiness even in the old mother’s life. If the girl had preached to her mother-in-law in a plain and direct way, would she have listened to her? No, words don’t have effect, behavior has its effect. Therefore, daughters-in-law should serve in their in-laws’ house with such intelligence, thereby keeping all satisfied. With this, peace and happiness will be maintained in the house. Infighting in a house destroys peace. Peace and happiness are established by following this principle. Walk together with one another, stay together and help each other in every way. In this lies the good of the home, family, society and the country. Every human being should try and follow this, and bring into their life these divine, high ideals of Indian culture, so that every individual rises above his or her current condition and works in favour of the society and country thereby helping to establish peace and happiness, let all awaken the self-bliss hidden within them. May they awaken their Truth Consciousness and Bliss absolute nature. Let us stay clear of attachment, hatred, jealousy and slander and also save others who come into contact with us from these vices.
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